Last night our good friends the Starrs came over for dinner. Little Starr is Thaylin’s Best Girl. They spend all day together at preschool and often play together in the evenings and on weekends. Momma Starr is one of my best girl’s. We spend all day together at work, and often, well, she’s Little Starr’s mom, so you get the idea. This week was a rough one at work (no exception, most of them are) and I asked Momma Starr to bring a bottle of wine over to have as with dinner. After dinner we send the crazy, screaming children up to Thaylin’s playroom while we bitch about work relax. Jason even finds P!nk’s Funhouse Tour on TV for us to watch. All is well, then I realize that I hadn’t heard the kids for some time (and neither of these two would ever be described as quiet). I alert Momma Starr and Jason to this little nugget of information, but shoulders get shrugged and more wine is poured. Ten minutes later the total lack of any noise from upstairs has sent up my red flag. As I reach the top of the stairs, I know what I’m about to find IS NOT going to be pretty. First, the blankets from my bed are laying in the hall and there are a bunch of shushing noises coming from my bedroom. Second, I hear the water running in the bathroom sink. I address the bathroom first. Not only is the water running (with a toothbrush & cup floating in the sink), but there is enough toilet paper in the toilet to wipe FIVE asses. Oh Dear God.
I move on to assess the children. This is what I found. HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!
Remember when I said it was just too quiet upstairs, yeah, that’s because it takes A LOT of concentration for a 3 yr old to draw on every exposed (and unexposed) body part of their best friend. What you see in the pictures doesn’t do it justice. They both had on their chests and bellies (paying particular attention to the belly buttons) on their backs and disturbingly enough, they both had Sharpie IN THEIR BUTT CRACKS!!!! Hilarious right? You should have SEEN them giggling and carrying on. Did I mention that Momma Starr and I had been drinking wine? I couldn’t help it, I laughed. What was I supposed to do? I went downstairs to inform the other parental units in the house what had happened. My husband was less than thrilled. Momma Starr looked at me for a moment, as if she was waiting for the punchline. She didn’t realize that when I said, “you’ve GOT to see this” that THAT WAS the punchline.
We tried to get the worst of it off with rubbing alcohol, but eventually into the bathtub they went. You want to know something, Sharpie DOESN’T come off with soap and water. I scrubbed and scrubbed but to no avail. My kid is STILL covered in red squiggles, including the ones on his butt and in his butt crack, but luckily I was able to get the scribble that looked like a bleeding bullet hole off of his forehead. I think they’re going to have to be grounded from each other for awhile. Well, at least until Monday.
Happy Weekend from Mandyland,